I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
