True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize