im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
