And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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