okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
