some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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