Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Even my vagina gasped.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.