did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised