ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick