Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(408): View more from California

I think I just got seasick

(409): View more from Texas

you're not on a boat

(408): View more from California

he has a waterbed.

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(408): I think I just got seasick (409): you're not on a boat (408): he has a waterbed. http://tfl.nu/239c

Replies (7) Good night (1260) Bad night (485)
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(845): View more from New York

Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.

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(845): Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes. http://tfl.nu/5scb

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(760): View more from California

Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.

(912): View more from Georgia

What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?

(760): View more from California

I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.

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(760): Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool. (912): What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar? (760): I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out. http://tfl.nu/o1sk

Replies (26) Good night (4508) Bad night (628)
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(702): View more from Nevada

the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!

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(702): the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry! http://tfl.nu/25bg

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.

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(610): I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date. http://tfl.nu/jj8c

Replies (50) Good night (911) Bad night (9672)
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(636): View more from Missouri

Ridin mah bike see you on the moon

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(636): Ridin mah bike see you on the moon http://tfl.nu/f5ya

Replies (23) Good night (7000) Bad night (574) Order T-Shirt
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(630): View more from Illinois

My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'

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(630): My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere' http://tfl.nu/tlv9

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"

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(267): I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant" http://tfl.nu/lcyo

Replies (27) Good night (952) Bad night (4944) Order T-Shirt
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(802): View more from Vermont

My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".

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(802): My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary". http://tfl.nu/h26g

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(578): View more from

You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"

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(578): You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide" http://tfl.nu/y8fp

Replies (6) Good night (2902) Bad night (798) Order T-Shirt
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(248): View more from Michigan

Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.

(248): View more from Michigan

There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.

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(248): Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby. (248): There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction. http://tfl.nu/82qp

Replies (5) Good night (2389) Bad night (747)
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(347): View more from New York

I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead

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(347): I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead http://tfl.nu/i3pk

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(303): View more from Colorado

Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?

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(303): Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night? http://tfl.nu/dyw8

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(607): View more from New York

I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.

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(607): I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability. http://tfl.nu/69z6

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.

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(570): I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me. http://tfl.nu/ca7c

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