I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
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Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
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Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.