I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.