Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
