Define "chronic" masturbator.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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