Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
