so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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