it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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