I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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