just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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