I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
