She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
