I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
