I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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