I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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