then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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