did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
