weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.