i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.