The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.