I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
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im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
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like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.