just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.