Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.