Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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