so explain again why im purple
no
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
