you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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