i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize