Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
