my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
