watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
