normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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