How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
