hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize