I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
