Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
