I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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