what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
