I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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