Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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