So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
