is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
