Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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