he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
