I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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