im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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