In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
