we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
