We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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