A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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