I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
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