I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
