woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
