i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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