12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
