I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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