she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
