How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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