Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
