omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
the condom got lost in my hair
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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