Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
