I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Small penises have feelings too.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
