he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
